Why am I passionate about this?

When I was four and a half years old, I found my mother passed out on her bedroom floor. She had overdosedā€”shortly after giving birth to my baby brother, and she went on to spend six months in a psychiatric hospital. While she was away, I remember sitting in the backseat of our car with my brother as my father drove us to the store when our car collided head-on with another vehicle. In the months that followed, I became parentless for a period that seemed like years. That experience set the stage for my lifelong interest in the impacts of childhood trauma. As a therapist, it also sparked my passion for healing others.


I wrote

Gifts From A Challenging Childhood: Creating A Practice for Becoming Your Healthiest Self

By Jan Bergstrom,

Book cover of Gifts From A Challenging Childhood: Creating A Practice for Becoming Your Healthiest Self

What is my book about?

In my book, I clarify the exact emotional, intellectual, and neurological ways that childrenā€™s brains respond to trauma and howā€¦

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The books I picked & why

Book cover of Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

Jan Bergstrom Why did I love this book?

I love this book as the author, Jonice Webb, describes childhood neglect in depth. When I teach clients that neglect is a form of childhood trauma, difficult to detect, like carbon monoxide, I see light bulbs go off in their heads.

Webb describes in detail the 12 different types of childhood neglect that have a devasting impact on their lives today and how to heal them. 

By Jonice Webb,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked Running on Empty as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

This informative guide helps you identify and heal from childhood emotional neglect so you can be more connected and emotionally present in your life.

Do you sometimes feel like you're just going through the motions in life? Do you often act like you're fine when you secretly feel lonely and disconnected? Perhaps you have a good life and yet somehow it's not enough to make you happy. Or perhaps you drink too much, eat too much, or risk too much in an attempt to feel something good. If so, you are not alone-and you may be suffering from emotional neglect.ā€¦


Book cover of Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners

Jan Bergstrom Why did I love this book?

I love this book because when I work with clients about their childhood developmental trauma, many times, they interpret being close to a parent as special and flourishing when they were growing up. Little do they know even though it may feel good to be a close friend or partner to a parent, I see them being used by the parent for emotional support and not being able to have their own life.

I like how Adams describes in depth why this is considered trauma and its impact today. 

By Kenneth M. Adams,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Silently Seduced as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy-even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries-usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring.' The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction-because there is nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship that services the needsā€¦


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Book cover of Who Is a Worthy Mother?: An Intimate History of Adoption

Who Is a Worthy Mother? by Rebecca Wellington,

I grew up thinking that being adopted didnā€™t matter. I was wrong. This book is my journey uncovering the significance and true history of adoption practices in America. Now, in the wake of the U.S. Supreme Courtā€™s overturning of Roe v. Wade, the renewed debate over womenā€™s reproductive rights placesā€¦

Book cover of Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists

Jan Bergstrom Why did I love this book?

I love this workbook because it is straightforward in defining childhood developmental trauma. It explains the Autonomic Nervous System and how trauma stays stuck in the body today. I use diagrams and simple worksheets to explain why my clients feel the way they do.

I like that it explains that trauma is not just working out through the brain but includes the body, most importantly. I also believe that true healing from trauma has to include somatic body-based work, which this workbook explains. 

By Janina Fisher,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Traumatic experiences leave a ā€œliving legacyā€ of effects that often persist for years and decades after the events are over. Historically, it has always been assumed that re-telling the story of what happened would resolve these effects.

However, survivors report a different experience: Telling and re-telling the story of what happened to them often reactivates their trauma responses, overwhelming them rather than resolving the trauma. To transform traumatic experiences, survivors need to understand their symptoms and reactions as normal responses to abnormal events. They need ways to work with the symptoms that intrude on their daily activities, preventing a lifeā€¦


Book cover of Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance

Jan Bergstrom Why did I love this book?

I love this book as it helps explain to my female clients the shame they feel about mothering their children. I love that she describes in detail the vicious cycle from generation to generation that adult daughters can break through by understanding the lack of nurturance, protection, and guidance that was missing.

I like that this book gives tools and interventions to correct and heal their parenting and foster genuine emotional relationships. 

By Kelly McDaniel,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Mother Hunger as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

An insatiable need for sex and love. Periods of overeating or starving. A pattern of unstable and painful relationships.

Does this sound painfully familiar?

Trauma counselor Kelly McDaniel has seen these traits over and over in clients who feel trapped in cycles of harmful behaviors-and are unable to stop.

Many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits simply because we don't see a better way. With Mother Hunger, McDaniel helps women break the cycle of destructive behavior by taking a fresh look at childhood trauma and its lasting impact. In doing so, she destigmatizes the shame that comes withā€¦


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Book cover of Coma and Near-Death Experience: The Beautiful, Disturbing, and Dangerous World of the Unconscious

Coma and Near-Death Experience by Alan Pearce,

What happens when a person is placed into a medically-induced coma?

The brain might be flatlining, but the mind is far from inactive: experiencing alternate lives rich in every detail that spans decades, visiting realms of stunning and majestic beauty, or plummeting to the very depths of Hell while defyingā€¦

Book cover of The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love

Jan Bergstrom Why did I love this book?

I love this book because it addresses how important psychological boundaries are for healthy communication. I teach all my clients how to use these two kinds of invisible boundaries when relating to others.

I love the two parts: the speaking boundary, which helps contain my clients and keeps them respectful, and the listening boundary, which helps protect my clients from being too thin-skinned.

This groundbreaking definition and approach change their lives. I see that this is especially important for survivors of childhood trauma who were never protected. I love this book and live by it daily and personally.

By Pia Mellody, Lawrence S. Freundlich,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked The Intimacy Factor as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

In her first book in over 10 years, Pia Mellodyā€”author of the groundbreaking bestsellers Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addictionā€”shares her profound wisdom on what it takes to sustain true intimacy and trusting love in our most vital relationships.

Drawing on more than 20 years' experience as a counsellor at the renowned Meadows Treatment Centre in Arizona, Mellody now shares what she has learned about why intimate relationships falterā€”and what makes them work. Using the most upā€“toā€“date research and realā€“life examples, including her own compelling personal journey, Mellody provides readers with profoundly insightful and practical ground rules for relationships thatā€¦


Explore my book šŸ˜€

Gifts From A Challenging Childhood: Creating A Practice for Becoming Your Healthiest Self

By Jan Bergstrom,

Book cover of Gifts From A Challenging Childhood: Creating A Practice for Becoming Your Healthiest Self

What is my book about?

In my book, I clarify the exact emotional, intellectual, and neurological ways that childrenā€™s brains respond to trauma and how that experience impacts the childā€™s life throughout adulthood. I explain how our basic needs as children for love, protection, validation, and expression must be met by our parents and how, when these needs are not met in childhood, you can end up with one-up or one-down self-esteem and over-protective or under-protective boundaries as adults. 

Whether you experienced traumatic neglect or excessive control and enmeshment at the hands of your parents, this book will not only help you identify what went wrong for you, but it will also provide you with validating and compassionate ways to reparent yourself.

Book cover of Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect
Book cover of Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners
Book cover of Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists

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Interested in childhood trauma, child abuse, and self-actualization?

Childhood Trauma 18 books
Child Abuse 60 books
Self-Actualization 236 books